"The Only Difference Between Martyrdom And Suicide Is Press Coverage"
This copy of the lyrics was transcribed from inside the lyric booklet by me, so they are the official lyrics

Sit tight.  I'm going to need you to keep time, come on just snap those fingers for me.
Good good now we're making some progress come on just tap those toes to the beat.
I believe this may call for a proper introduction.
don't you see?  I am the narrator, and this is just the prologue
Swear we'll shake it up if you swear to listen
Oh we're still so young but desperate for attention
And I aim to be your eyes (heart & mind)
Trophy boys, trophy wives, this time it's time
Applause!  Applause!  No, wait wait ...

Dear studio audience,
I've an announcement to make.  It seems the artists these days are not who you think.
But we'll pick back up on that on another page.
Yours truly